Babe, book the table. Wear the outfit. Order something you have never tried. You do not need to wait for somebody else to decide that you deserve a lovely evening.
How many things have you postponed because nobody was available to come with you? The restaurant you keep saving. The exhibition you wanted to see. That little café you pass every week, wondering what it looks like inside. Your calendar deserves moments you look forward to, even when your friends’ diaries do not match yours.
Being available to everyone else should not mean being unavailable to yourself.
Taking yourself on a date is a chance to discover what you enjoy when you are free to choose. Where would you go if you did not have to negotiate? What would you order? Would you linger over dessert, wander through a bookshop or sit by the window and watch the city move?
You might feel awkward the first time. You might reach for your phone the moment you sit down, suddenly convinced that everyone has noticed you are alone. Let yourself settle. Look at the menu. Feel your feet on the floor. You are allowed to occupy a table without explaining who is coming.
And please, do not turn your date into another task you have to perform beautifully. You do not need a perfect outfit, a cinematic photograph or a caption that proves you are enjoying yourself. Take a picture if you want one. Then give yourself a little time to experience the moment beyond the screen.
Dress in a way that makes you feel comfortable and cared for. Wear the earrings you keep saving. Put on your favourite perfume. Or take yourself out in trainers and a cosy jumper. The point is to choose something that feels good to you.
The date does not have to be expensive to be worth your time. A coffee and a library visit can become a lovely afternoon. So can a homemade lunch in the park, a free museum exhibition or a walk followed by your favourite pastry. Enjoyment belongs in your budget, whatever its size.
If you spend much of your week working, studying, caring or organising, you may notice how quickly a free hour becomes another opportunity to catch up on chores. Sometimes the washing can wait. You are a person with interests, curiosity and pleasures of your own, even when life makes it difficult to remember them.
A solo date will not solve every worry. You can enjoy your own company and still want friendship, romance and someone to share dessert with. Both feelings can exist. But you can give yourself a good afternoon while leaving room for those connections.
Start small this week. Choose one place you have wanted to visit. Pick a time you can manage. Go with an open mind, without demanding that the experience transform your life. Perhaps you will find a favourite dish. Perhaps you will discover that you love an afternoon at the cinema alone. Perhaps you will simply come home pleased that you went.
Take yourself on a date, babe. Let your life contain something lovely that you chose just for you.
Where are you taking yourself first: brunch, the cinema, a gallery or a little café with excellent cake?
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